Friday, June 27, 2008

Mercies Are New Every Morning


The whole purpose of writing this blog was to help me remember all those years that have been buried so deep within that I cannot pull them up. Today it seems that God is trying to tell me, LaJuanah, let go and let ME. We just cannot hang on to the past no matter how hard we try. I do know that for so long it was so hurtful to remember that I literally shut out most of all those years before Susanne died.
It can be a very rewarding moment to drive back into your past and see a house that you once lived in or your parents or grandparents shared with each other. Playing in the front yard, climbing trees or playing hide and seek. Maybe a sad moment if someone you loved died in that house or moved away suddenly. Nothing stays the same or lasts forever. Just as we change the landscapes change, trees grow taller, or they or cut down, subdivisions pop up, commercial buildings replace homely little houses that were once filled with love and laughter.
God's Word tells me that "His mercies are new every morning, Great is HIS faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:23)" JESUS is the only thing in a life time that matters really. Everything else will come and go, we will have a few options and make a few decisions, things we choose to do or not do ourselves. As for anyone else we cannot make a crooked path straight, heal the sick, deliver those that are bound up in earthly matters or worse.
I once had a house in a little Mississippi town that I thought I loved. It was the only house I had ever lived in for any length of time. My children spent more time in that house than any other we ever lived in. I was afraid to leave there, it was the most stable thing I had ever known. I had some land with it and really thought that was very important, to own a house and land. After Susanne died I made a shrine of all her belongings. I wanted everything to stay the same, I wanted to keep her things out so everyone would remember her.
Well, apparently God got jealous of all my attention going to a precious child that was with HIM. I was wanting to pull her back and HE had her safe in HIS arms. I did not know how to trust HIM with such pain. I could not think of ever leaving that house. Well, after about 5 years whether God caused it or allowed it does not matter, it happened. That house burned to the ground with all her precious things in it. I was numb for a long time.
Now I realize God rescued me and my children from a life of bondage. He set us free so that we could once again look up and let HIM direct our steps. He pulled me up out of the mud and slime of defeat and once again put me on HIS ground.
My point in saying all of this is hopefully if there are any of you out there that is hanging onto a place or item and putting all your thoughts and ideas and dreams into a "thing" "a place" God will probably allow you to hang onto it for a long time. But if you belong to HIM, He will pull you back to HIM, He will not allow you to be destroyed by earthly desires and lusts and greed.
His mercies are new every morning, we just have to look for them everyday. A lot of things will fail us in this lifetime but God's Word will never fail. It will endure forever. I will probably continue to blog because sometimes I just get so full that I need to empty out the file cabinet so to speak. But I don't think I will put so much emphasis on trying to remember my past. God may be doing me a blessing by not letting me remember. It might bring sadness or anger or anything else that would not be good for me or my children. Who knows...........only GOD.
I know Susanne is with my Lord and Saviour and I look forward to seeing her again, along with my mother and sister. But until that day I am going to try to put my faith once again in my Lord and open my eyes each morning with anticipation............anxiously awaiting to see what God has planned for me today. I do know it will not be sitting and looking back...............Thank you Jesus.....................................

Friday, June 20, 2008

Family Is A Wonderful Thing


This is just a short little ditty tonight. I just wanted to share a great picture with all of you. This is Wayne's sister and her husband, Alma and Les Fenter. We have just returned from visiting with them for several days and we had the most wonderful time. There is a long story behind this relationship but the important thing is that the healing has taken place. God has restored what Satan intended to destroy. Alma has gone through some heart wrenching experiences but our Lord is so good. He has brought her through each one of them making her stronger in the Lord every time. She and Les have done a great job with their children and they have a wonderful home. Jesus is in their home and love abounds. I wish I had more pictures of all the family get togethers I have had with my sister and brother and their children. Through 45 years of adulthood so many things can happen and do. But I do know that true love and families that truly love each other will survive all attacks that Satan throws. As I struggle to remember things about Susanne I also take comfort in knowing that God has blessed me with a wonderful family. Now that Wayne is in my life I can truly say that I have experienced God' love and mercy. I may not have all the things sorted out so that I can recall many things of years back I do know that love is the most important commandment that God has given us. I thank God for what He has done in Wayne and Alma's life and for letting me be a part of this family.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Why Do We Pray For Each Other?



< This is not a very good picture of Susanne but it will do for this little morcel of wisdom. This is a picture of innocence and confidence. I guess she was about 10 or 11 in this picture. Susanne was a sweetie but she certainly had a mind of her own I think. Memories of her are very sketchy and it is pictures like this that help me so much.


Well, after her accident I was a mess. That is the only way I know to put it. I could not have prayed a prayer that made any sense to God. I was hurt, angry, scared, numb, regretful, unforgiving and I could go on and on. I know that while I was going through all these crazy painful emotions that there were people all over that was lifting me up in prayer to our Lord. I know we have all seen the picture of "Footprints In The Sand". If you have never been the person Jesus is carrying get ready because sometime in your lifetime I believe God lets us go through a period where we know without a shadow of a doubt that HE and HE ALONE was the one that carried us through that trial and heartache.


In James 5:16 God tells us "Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." In I Timothy 2:8 He says "Therefore I want the men in every place to PRAY, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and dissension". I Thessalonians 5:17 we are told "...pray without ceasing". I could go on and on with scriptures that tell us to pray........pray for each other...........pray for our enemies.

Since prayer is mentioned so much in God's Word I think I can safely assume that prayer is for all God's people and we are to pray for ALL God's people and to pray for the lost to be saved. Prayer should come from a loving heart, not a heart that is praying God will jerk somebody up and make them believe what we believe and show them how wrong they are . We could possibly be wrong in somethings we believe.


I am so thankful for all the prayers that were lifted up to heaven for me and my family during those trying weeks months and years. Maybe sometimes God just allows hearts to be broken because He uses those times to bring us back where we need to be. In His arms...........listening to Him instead of telling Him everything.

I thank God for not answering all my prayers. There have been times in my life that I know I prayed for the wrong things. There are lots of things I don't understand about answered prayers. I do know there was a time in my life when I was highly insulted because someone walked up to me and told me they were praying for me. This was way before Susanne's accident. I was still clinging to a religion that had embedded certain beliefs in me and I knew I did not need the prayer of this person. I should have been praying for her because she needed it more than I did. Recently, I told someone I was praying for them, knowing their family was going through some tough times. The reaction I got was " yeah well WE ARE PRAYING FOR YOU TOO.........WE ALL NEED PRAYER.............and he walked away very insulted and feeling very righteous in his rebuke of me. I felt so sorry for him because I had been there before and I know how wrong I was and how wrong he was.


Well, God will allow us to believe anything we choose to believe for a season, sometimes for several seasons. But HE will get our attention at some point, a point where we all equally end up .....................lying flat on the floor only to be able to look up seeking God and His mercy. We are to pray for each other out of love, praying for God to do a glorious work in each other, for wisdom, love , mercy, grace, healing, deliverance, forgiving one another.


We should welcome a brother or sisters prayers, just as we should willingly lift them up in prayer. Being accountable to each other and praying for each other helps us to stay where we need to be and keeps us from becoming high and mighty righteous know it alls. We need each other, we are to love one another, even our enemies, we are to forgive each other. We never know when SUDDENLY we will be totally dependent on anther's prayers because the bottom has been knocked out from under us and we cannot pray for ourselves.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Remember When?




There is 45 years difference in these two pictures. Wayne and I were so young, I was 17 and he was 18 when we really started to date. We had known each other for years but were just friends. We went to the same church and shared first cousins and aunts, but on different sides of the tree. As Sam my cousin says, the tree does split at the top. I do remember when Wayne would buy me a Christmas gift and give to his aunt and mine for her to give to me. My aunt Lorene was sister to my mother. She was married to Wayne''s uncle, his mother being Uncle Preston's sister. See..........................Anyway I know we dated for about a year and I know that I really liked him a lot. The problem I am having is I don't remember actually dating him. I can't remember a specific date or place...............I do remember him writing to me when he had just left to go back to school in Texas. He had sent me my picture back and broke up with me. I do remember being devastated, hurt and angry. But after one short phone call to him to see if he meant what he said, I never spoke to him again until March 16, 2007 at my mothers funeral. Wayne remembers everything. We have gone all over Baton Rouge taking pictures of all the places he says we went to. This is hard to believe but here we go........ I was living in Prentiss, Ms and had been there for several years running a Sears Catalog Store. Wayne accepted a job at the church there in Prentiss and lived in that town for about a year. I never once saw him, even though we lived less than a block from each other. I would not go to that church because I knew he was preaching there and his family was with him. I would have never tried to see him because I knew in my heart I still loved him. He was principle at Silver Creek school and at Enterprise in Brookhaven which was only a short drive away. I never knew he was that close and he never tried to contact me. He knew the same thing and he never tried to see me or contact me. So this story picks up again on March 16,2007,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Two Sweeties, Brody and Josie



These are the two babies of the family. It seems like we have always had a little one to hold and rock and keep close. Well, the youngest is Mr. Brody who is now 4 years old then Ms. Josie who is 5 going on 10. They are both very smart kids and they love to run and play like all kids do. Josie has lovely long hair and she loves for it to just hang loose. No bows or barrettes. Kim, her mom, has tried through the years but nothing ever stays very long in the hair. I guess Josie is the one I have spent the least amount of time with. That I believe is because she is the first and only girl on her mothers side of the family. Her grandparents on her mothers side have absolutely just been there for her since day one. Linda loves to buy the little girlie clothes and everything else that she can buy for Josie. I used to do that for Whitney when she was a baby and it was wonderful. My life was somewhat different when Josie was born and I was not able to give the monetary things and I was working so I had less time to spend with her. I would babysit some at night for them to go out and that was when I had special time with Josie and Ryley. Jason has amazed me with Josie. He loves his little girl so very much and would absolutely give his life for both his children. Both Jason and Kim are good parents and have a lovely home for their children and Jesus is truly welcome in their home.

Brody was one of those special children that God says, "Here I want you to raise this child as if he is your own". When Bun and Ken started talking about adopting I thought they were crazy. Here they had, Chris, Whitney, Kenny and Tori and they wanted another one? I was no encouragement to them at all. In fact I truly tried to discourage Bunnie, never saying much to Ken at all. I know I must have broken Bunnie's heart several times when she would be so excited and I just wouldn't want to talk about it. Well, God took both my feet and inserted into mouth and said........You will will love this child,and he will be your grandchild". The day they got off that plane from Russia and I say this precious child my heart just melted. It was instant, a love just as great as any I had for Josie, Ryley, Tori, Kenny or Whitney or Chris. And he remains just as sweet and precious as the rest. Bun and Ken have been great parents to Brody. He is such an easy child to love. Since I lived in an apartment above their garage Brody had everyday access to me. I truly have been blessed with the sweetest grandchildren God ever put on this earth. I believe that.......................

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Whitney Susanne


I cannot believe that Whitney is grown, in college, traveling all over the world literally. It is true that the older you get the faster time goes by. I do remember the day Whit was born in Memphis. Bunnie and Ken did such a good job of bringing her into this world.
I pretty much tried to consume Whitney as much as I could. My life was so empty without Susanne and I needed someone to put my attention and love into. I had pretty much smothered Jason to death and he was glad for me to be smothering someone else. Whitney and I kept this wonderful grandmother granddaughter relationship for almost 13 years. Then I think she grew up and out grew me for several years. But we have gone full circle now and even though I don't get to spend nearly as much time with her as I would like we have a great relationship.
I called her last night as she was at her job counseling at the camp she goes to in Missouri. She sounded so grown, so in control of her life. Whitney has a wonderful relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and she is not ashamed to share it with anyone. She has this natural ability to lead others and take charge. We sometimes joke with her about how she can just walk into a room and all of a sudden she is in total control. She is beautiful and smart and few people question her. Isn't that a wonderful trait. Beautiful, christian, smart, tall, blonde.....just like her grandmother..........lol

Monday, June 9, 2008

Jesus Loves Us


This picture helps me to remember back to my teen's. The reunions were always in the middle of the summer, somewhere in the hills of Brookhaven, Ms with relatives I only saw at reunions. This is my grandmother, Mollie Sutton, and her twin brother Levi Redd. That would be me on the far left and Jerry Raney my first cousin standing up in the very back with the blond hair. I am not certain of the identity of anyone else. Of course that was many many years ago.
Family is such an important part of life. It is not uncommon to run into people that have not seen relatives in years for many reasons. Most of the time when people go long periods of time without visiting relatives it is because of some kind of falling out, difference of opinions, jealousy or envy. This happens most of the time when we are in our younger adult years. You have to admit that is the years that we are the most intelligent, got it all together and know everything.
I know because I have been there. I cant help but laugh a little when I try to think back to the days of my early 20's and 30's. I do believe I could have run Hilliary a close second. I was so educated in many areas. The exact details in any one situation slips my mind at the moment. I just know that I did not like to take advice from anyone and rarely ever asked for it. Now if I could just go back I would do everything differently. EVERYTHING.....................
I would be less judgemental, more forgiving, listen more and speak less, ask for little and give more, speak kind words and not harsh , love more and argue less, share Jesus with many many people and not argue as to who is right and who is wrong in the church. Jesus is a simple, uncomplicated Saviour. He loved us so much He died for us...........Believe in Him and we shall be saved........We are to go to Him as a little child. I hope I never complicate the gospel and confuse anyone. Jesus said, believe in Me............God's Word is our sword........ A sword, a SWORD............use it. Learn it, speak it, pray it................Jesus died for us and don't you forget it. Love ya

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Jason and Kim


Let me introduce you to my son Jason and his wife, Kim. They live very close to Bun and Ken and it was so nice when I lived there because I was able to see them all pretty often. I can remember more about Jason than anyone. I am sure it is because we spent so much time together after 1985. His life was so different from the one Bunnie and Susanne knew. For that I have always been sorry. But Jason has tackled all the hard roads and the deep valleys and God has had him in His hands from day one. My favorite scripture I would speak over Jason was "My children shall be taught by the Lord and great shall be the peace of my children". I know that God's Word is true and He keeps His word. After Susanne died I realized that I did not control anything. I used to think I did. So I learned to give my children to God and trust Him to guide them. After all He loves them more than I do. He gave His Son to die for them so that they might have eternal life with Him. I am very proud of Jason. He is trusting God for guidance and wisdom to be a good husband and father. My prayer for him now is that God will direct his path, will hear his prayers and show him great and mighty things. God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all I could think or ask for for Jason and Kim and Ryley and Josie. Kim is a good wife and great supporter of Jason and a good mother. We all love her dearly and thank God for putting her in our life.

The Importance of a Second


Have you ever thought about what time actually is? It is how we measure the length of a day, hour or minute. Even a second. Most of the time these seconds and minutes are just taken for granted, once gone never to be remembered again in how we spent it.
Prior to this message I had just shared with you that my son-in-law was having his appendix taken out this morning. Bun sent me a text message at 6:30am telling me he would be having surgery at 9 AM. She said Ken woke her up at 4:30 and told her she needed to drive him to hospital that he was having a appendicitis attack. She sat up in bed and looked at him with her sleepy eyes and said "are you sure". Easy going Ken said "well it is my opinion that even without running any tests that I am having an appendicitis attack." So within that second their plans for a good night sleep, get up and do the Luke Ministry at church and have a delightful day with the family changed. Thankfully God allowed them to return from Mexico 2 days earlier before Ken got sick. He is out of surgery and doing well now. Jason and Kim are over at their house tending to the kids until they are able to return home.
In one second our world as we know it can be turned upside down. "Suddenly" is used in the bible numerous times. I Timothy 5:22, Acts 2:2, 9:3, 22:6, 16:26, 28:6, Luke 9:39, Mark 2:13, 13:36 and 9:8. That is only in the New Testament. I can remember when "suddenly" I realized something. Great surprises, unexpected moments in our lives when we are happily surprised with a gift, a raise, the unexpected. Suddenly is always something unexpected, out of the norm you might say. There have been many "suddenly"s" in my life. Both good and not so good.
The day that the sheriff of Prentiss, Ms came into my office at the court house and told me Susanne had been in an accident. "Suddenly my world fell apart." At that moment I could not think, talk, even really comprehend what Gary was saying. For the next couple of days I just followed instructions. I am not certain when I fully comprehended the seriousness of what was happening. God surrounded me with his saints, saints that could pray when I couldn't.
Not only did my life change in an instant, but all my family. Bunnie was to get married in 2 months, Susanne was to be her maid of honor. Jason was just turning 8 years old. In less than two months he would go to having 2 sisters at home to being the only child in the house.
Decisions were made, most of which I don't remember. That one second would forever put me and my family on another path. Jesus certainly carried us all through those painful days.
I am not going into the days after Susanne's death. It has always been hard for me to go there. I know she is with Jesus, she is not in that grave in Prentiss, Ms. My faith is so much stronger than it ever would have been before her accident.
Several years after Susanne's death, we were visiting Bun and Ken in Johnson City, Tn. "Suddenly" the phone rang and it was a friend of ours in Prentiss, Ms. Our home had just burned to the ground. Nothing could be salvaged. Again, Suddenly our lives would be altered. In an instance! It was a great shock but nothing could ever be as bad as when Susanne was taken from us. I learned through this that all THINGS" can be replaced to a degree. I grieved over the things that I had kept of Susanne's that had been burned. God has a way of putting us in a state of shock I guess to protect us for awhile while we are adjusting to the changes. Through this event in my life I was shown that it is not things that make us happy. It is not money that carries us through life. It is life itself. That is what is important.
God gives us life. I don't think He wants us to just go our way, do our thing and remember Him on occasions. I truly believe He put us here for Him. He wants a relationship with us. I do know that I have always loved the Lord, and believed He was just that, GOD! But I know now that He was not first in my life. I now have a PEACE that can come only from HIM. The Lord is the only one that could have ever put a smile on my face again. He has given me hope and life again.
Through His Son Jesus Christ I now know the Love Of God and His Son.
There was a time when I just wanted to go to sleep. I could not deal with another second. I took a sleeping pill and then another one and then another one. I woke up in a hospital in Hattiesburg, Ms. Jesus sent a beautiful earthly angel to my door and suddenly I was in the arms of a precious friend who loved me. I was rushed to the hospital and put back together again.
It has not been suddenly..........this journey I have been on with Jesus. It has been a moment by moment journey. You see, He doesn't promise us a tomorrow, just this moment that we are in. Should this be our last one shouldn't we spend it the best way we know how. That would mean we would have to pretty much stay in a constant state of loving the Lord and seeking His face. Do I do this all the time. I wish I could say yes but unfortunately I don't. I would love to stay before Him on my face just praising Him and thanking Him for all He has done for me. So I take these moments like this and try to regroup putting Jesus first and foremost.
Let me always be mindful of the value of one small second. May I never waste another one.
The reason I put Wayne and my picture at the beginning of this is that I truly believe God has blessed me for a few more seconds by giving me Wayne. I have always loved him from when we dated in 1962. Many seconds were wasted for many years but suddenly when we met at my mothers funeral last March we knew we were given another chance. Some do not see it that way but hopefully God will open their eyes one day and all that know us will be ok with us. Wayne is trying to help me remember that part of my life that he knows about. You see...........it was 45 years ago that we dated and then broke up and went our separate ways. I will not begin to tell Wayne's story. But I know I dated him, we went to the same church, were baptized the same time. He remembers everything and I cannot remember dating him only the day he broke up with me. That is another story. There are many things that I do not understand and will have to wait for Jesus to tell me if then. I just know that "suddenly " can change the rest of our lives and that is one good reason to stay prayed up and seeking God's face all the time. That reminds me of the Armor of God but that is for another day.

Dr. Ken having surgery


I got a text message this morning from Bunnie saying Ken would be having his appendix out this morning at 9 AM. I do not know any of the details but I would appreciate all of your prayers for him to do well and be back moving very soon. As I mentioned earlier Kenny, my grandson, will be having knee surgery Wednesday for torn cartilage. They just returned from a mission trip to Mexico 2 days ago. Needless to say we are all very thankful that he got back home in time for this.

Ken has always been such a kind, giving young man. There has never been any doubt as to his devotion to the Lord, his wife and family. For about 9 or 10 years he opened his home to me and welcomed me in. I will always be grateful to him and Bunnie for all they did for me while I was making a big transition in my life. Ken and Bunnie have been so good to share not only their home with me but their children. Jason and Kim live close by so my being able to live with Bun and Ken also enabled me to enjoy ALL my children and grandchildren.

We would appreciate all of your prayers for Ken and Kenny and all of them through this week. Thanks

Saturday, June 7, 2008

More pictures




I know it looks like I am just doing a family album and that could be true. I have enjoyed looking back at the few pictures I do have just from recent years. The top picture is Wayne, Matthew and Bart. It had been a while since I had seen Matthew. Bart came to Baton Rouge just for a few days visit and Wayne and I got to have lunch with him. Then we rode around Baton Rouge looking at all the places we had lived and gone to school. It was a great visit.
Picture #2 was when Ryley was a baby and Jason and Kim had brought him to Baton Rouge to mothers house. That was about 7 years ago now I guess.
Picture #3 is Tori and me..................I am having a hard time finding pictures of my Tori.......


Ken, Bunnie and Jake




Ken , bunnie.............
Ken and Jake

Snapshots






I imagine some of you will be sending me some more recent pictures of yourselves and the grandchildren after you see what I have had to choose from That will be a good thing. I only have access to the pictures I have taken with my digital camera and the few that I have taken a picture of a picture. Most of those did not turn out. Just looking at these pictures has helped me to go back a little. Especially to Jason and Kim's wedding when I had brown hair. Not natural mind you, but brown. Please kids, send me some pictures. I need some of Jason, Whitney, Ken. I think I have enough pictures of Wayne. ha ha




Friday, June 6, 2008

Ken,Bun,Whitney & Tori, Brody and Patches
















Kenny Boy


What can I say about my Kenny. He is growing up so fast. I am so proud of him. He just returned from a mission trip to Mexico and Bunnie said he was wonderful with all the kids there. Kenny has such a sweet heart but he is a really cool basketball player. Wow............by the way he will be having surgery on his knee again this week so please keep him in your prayers. He really wants to play ball this next school year. Love you Kenny

Blessings Beyond Measure




Ryley, Kim, Josie & Jason , Bunnie & Ken
Bunnie and Jason are two very special kids.
It would be hard to tell anyone how proud I am of these two kids. Both of them have really come through some difficult times but they have trusted God to see them through and He has. Life will never be without trials but when the Lord is first in your life no matter what, you will come through it wise and much more appreciative of what you have been blessed with. I love you kids. Ken and Kim have been so wonderful and I am so blessed to have them in my family. They have accepted me and I am sure it has not always been easy to be my son in law and daughter in law. thanks to them both.............

Thursday, June 5, 2008

63 years ago?


If I did not have this picture I surely would not remember this. Although I know that this was real so I have relied on it through the years that this truly happened. Me, my mom and Brenda. So when do you begin to remember certain things and occasions? I am having a hard time finding a beginning.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Brenda Rae


All of you will recognize this precious lady. She was my very bestest friend. This lady knew all there was to know about me. She was the best listener ever. For 62 years she was always there for me. We never never argued or disagreed. Sometimes she would give me that look and say "Oh,LaJuanah" sort of like in disbelief. Brenda was 18 months older than me. She was the one that shook me into reality about 5 years after Susanne had died. She told me I had to stop thinking it was my responsibility to keep Susanne's memory alive. I did not have to always bring her up in fear that she would be forgotten. She assured me Susanne would never be forgotten. That was the turning point of my trying to push aside all the sad memories and move into the day I was in.

I will talk more about Brenda as I go along. Believe me she was always there. I do miss her more than I can tell anyone but I do know she is in a better place and would not come back. We are just anxious to go to her.

Susanne Lanette


Well the only way I could get a picture of Susanne on this computer was to take a picture of a picture. So if you haven't tried it you might give it a shot. I will be posting probably more pictures than any of you will be interested in looking at but I haven't looked this far back in a long time.
When Susanne was born she had a birthmark on the right side of her face. It covered her eye, nose and top lip and went back over her ear and up into her head. It was so easy to spoil her. All I wanted to do was protect her from every body and every thing. You see how smart I was. Now I see so many people that have a birthmark like that or worse and I realize how wrong I was to try to protect her from people. Adults would comment in the grocery store about what happened to her face. Did she get burned? I think we are all better educated now and surely we know not to ask stupid questions like that.
To her family and friends we never noticed it on a day to day basis. Only at certain times would I. When she became older it did become a problem to her and she wanted to cover it up. Doctors would not even think about trying to remove it. So we found some makeup, Lydia Oleary........had to go to Baton Rouge to get it. She became pretty good at mixing 3 shades of makeup to get just the shade she needed.
I just wanted to introduce all of you to her. She would be 41 if she were still with us. I cant imagine her being that old.

The Clan


These are the most important people in the world to me. I have been so truly blessed. Let me introduce to those of you that are not familiar with my family.
Bunnie, Whitney, Kenny, Wayne
Brody, Ken, Tori, Ryley, Kim, Josie and Jason
I will be talking about each one of these precious people during this process of remembering.

Finding the Beginning




This precious picture would not have been possible if Bunnie and Ken had listened to me. Just goes to show you us "moms" dont always know everything. God knows before we are born how He is going to bless us. Sometimes we dont always see things as a blessing but God knows from the beginning to the end.

Bunnie is my first born. I can remember when she was born. Gulfport, MS, August 27, 1964. When I look back now and I can remember parts of her birth. I knew I was ready to be a mother and that I was confident I would do an excellent job of raising her. I guess in a way memory loss can be a blessing because I am not haunted by the mistakes I made while she was growing up. I remember tidbits of her childhood. Some of the pictures that I have been able to salvage after our house burned have helped tremendously. I dont have many of her after she was an infant but some of her school pictures. Back then we didnt take lots of pictures like everyone does this day and time.

I thank God for my children every day. Each one is a blessing and certainly a gift from God. Seems like it was l00's of years ago to try to think back to the early 60's and 70's. Time does fly.................

There have been so many times that Bunnie would try to help me remember things, her school days, when she had children, Whitney, Kenny and Tori. Each one of the grandbabies had their special place in my heart and the pictures Bunnie has taken through the years have helped .

I know I went to school. Istrouma Elementary, Istrouma Jr. High, Istrouma High finally graduation from Baker High in 1961. I have no recollection of every attending elementary, Jr. High and only about 10% of high school at Istrouma. I do remember a little more about my senior year but very little.

After graduation I worked some and dated some. I am now married to a man that tells me we dated in 1961 and early 1962 and I know we did. I just dont' remember it. When I met Wayne last year at my mothers funeral I knew when I saw him that I loved him. I can't tell you how I knew that. I had not specific thought or rememberance of him except I knew I loved him. I know that sounds crazy but it is the truth. There was something in his eyes and the way he walked and talked, I knew this man, I just couldnt remember him.

I always told everyone I knew for any length of time about Wayne. It went sort of like this...........I dated this guy and I thought we were going to get married but at some point after he went off to bible school to study to be a Church of Christ preacher, he wrote me a letter. A dear john letter with my 8X IO picture telling me he did not love me and that was that. I remember that part because I called him, asked him if he meant what he said, he said yes and I hung up. Threw the picture on the floor and cried. I would tell people it was because God knew I would never make a church of Christ preachers wife. Well that part was definitely true.

So I went on with my life, married and had Bunnie. Then along came Susanne on October 1, 1968 and then 8 years later came Jason, August 24, 1976. I guess I remember more about Jason and his childhood days than I do Bunnie's or Susanne.

I will take this in small steps so I think I will stop for now.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The Beginning of a Long Journey


This is a little frightening. I love to write and have always just wanted to put my thoughts and prayers down on paper. Not necessarily so others can read it although I would be honored for anyone to do so. I know that everyone has a story to tell, some are worth listening to and reading about and taking encouragement from and learning from. One persons wisdom can be invaluable to another. I have a buggy full of experience but I also have a train load of mistakes. If anyone can get something good out of either one of these I will be happy.
Finding a beginning point is a little difficult for me. Somewhere during this journey I have tucked away years of memories and I cannot pull them up. This is most frustrating because I know there are some very good times back there hiding that I would love to think about again and picture in my mind.
I am going to do this in little segments so that I don't bore you and that I don't get bogged down in unnecessary pitfalls. I do know that from the beginning I was walking and working and fighting in my own power. .....duh Need I say more. No wonder for all the defeats. Slowly Jesus began revealing Himself to me. You have to understand I was very smart spiritually and knew 99 % of all the answers to heaven. So when Jesus came into my life I was so happy but I had a difficult time letting go of my religion and accepting Jesus.
I think I will stop for now and try to collect my thoughts as to what path I am going to take with this blog. I am praying the Lord will direct me and at the end of this part of this journey I will have gone back into time and collected some wonderful memories of people and events in my life that I have not had the pleasure of remembering in many years.
Please revisit me any time and if you have anything that will help this process of recalling the past memories I surely would appreciate it. My email address is lajstewart@aol.com .
God Bless you until the next time. LaJuanah