Unconditional Love..............

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I don't know if all of you remember or have even been with me since I started this blog as to the reason I started doing this writing.

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I started writing hoping to shock my memory back into action so I could go back to those days of my youth and teen years and early years of motherhood. It has all been so sketchy since Susanne died. For 28 years I never much wanted to go back because the pain has been so terrific. But since Wayne and I married I have wanted to try to remember those days that we shared together because I know they must have been good times. Except for when he broke up with me.

-Anyway, I have been having a ball taking pictures with our digital camera that Wayne's children gave us for Christmas. This morning I started looking back into those pictures and I have been so overwhelmed with the love I see just bursting out of those pictures.

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As I looked at each one of these pictures I saw beautiful people that I love and have loved all my life. Everyone of these special people have been such an important part of my life at some point.

-We tend to automatically love all those that we have known all our life and are family. Well what has touched me so while looking at these pictures is the love I see that they all have for Wayne. Most of them, my family especially, have only known him a year. They know very little of his past, only what I have told them or that he has shared with them. Wayne is very modest about talking about his past so the information my children have about him is mimimum. When he does talk much it is usually about his children or grandchildren. Sometimes fishing........ha ha

-This article is not meant to bypass Wayne's grandchildren or children. I can only write about my family, I know them best. As you look at everyone of these pictures please know that I love them dearly and think they are wonderful, but I also know that none of them are perfect. I know that is why when they look at someone; they dont expect perfection, just honesty and trueness (if that is a word).

-They do not judge each other nor have they judged Wayne and I, they have received us both with open arms and helped us in this new life we have ventured out on. I understand there are those that do not feel the same way and they have that right. Some things take time and hopefully they will have how ever much time they need to accept this new path we are now on.

- It is amazing how instantly my children and grandchildren have taken to Wayne. It amazes me. I do believe they can see something in Wayne that is inward, a sincereness to want to love and just be loved. He certainly makes no demands on any of them and in return they do not demand anything of him.

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There is something to be said about respect........RESPECT. I believe when we choose to think ourselves better than others that gives us the right to judge others and be disrespectful or rude. We all have the right to disagree and most of the time we do. But we do not have the right to make someone feel less than what God has made them to be. Only God has the choice of passing judgement on anyone.

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To love unconditional means to love no matter what. WE dont have to approve of every thing one does but we do have to love them. I can truly say that my children have loved me through it all.................and there has been a great amount of ALL. It took me years to get to the point that I could function like a sane person after Susanne died. Jason was eight years old at the time and I shudder to think of the days and nights that I was wrapped up in my blanket of pain and emptiness. Bunnie had married and moved to her new home with her new husband trying to start a new life after just loosing her only sister. Their father had gone on with his own life trying to survive the only way he knew how and Jason and I were at home alone. Two years later his father had a heart attack and had open heart surgery. Three years later our house burned to the ground and not only did Jason lose a sister, and a sister move away from home and his father worked off; he lost everything materially that he owned. I would say that this was definately a hard time for him. Then when he became 21 his parents were separated and eventually divorced. He could have just said to heck with it.........but God kept His hand on Jason. Thank you Jesus.

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Jason and Bunnie had just as many needs as I did but I was not in a position to help them. That is how I know that God's Grace is sufficient, He does carry us when we are not able to carry ourselves or our loved ones. I dont often go where I find myself this morning. I just know how much I love my friends and children for loving me through all my mistakes and sins. Nothing in the world could ever make me not love my family, we need each other to survive in this world.

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Bunnie as I mentioned in my earlier blog about her has been so loving and understanding to me. She has such a sweet , tender heart and wants only to be a good wife and mother and child of God. She appreciates the fact that she has a husband that loves her and children that love her. She appreciates the fact that God has blessed her with a brother who she loves dearly and that loves her very much.

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Jason and Bunnie have a wonderful relationship with each other. I picture all these strings leading out from each one of my family members and God holding the other end. Bunnie and Jason know that it takes everyone to watch the others to be sure none of those strings slip out and float away. I thank God for the love Bunnie and Jason have for each other. Bunnie has such a depth about her when it comes to understanding people. She has always from day one seen something in Wayne that surprised me. It is almost like she can look within and see the heart of someone. In the case of Wayne she has been right.

-- Jason sent me an email last night that just brought tears to my eyes. It is so hard to see the depth of someone until they actually put it into writing. I know God is blessing Jason in more ways than I can begin to imagine. I can remember the nights in Dallas, Texas that I lay face down crying out to God to touch my son and bless him. There were several scriptures I would speak over him several times a day out loud, ...............I have always known God had a plan for Jason and I thank Him for letting me live long enough to see it.

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A man brought a big rock to Sunday School a couple of weeks ago. On this rock it simply said...........Who will be the first to throw this stone? I am sure I have been a part at some point in my earlier life that I was a stone thrower, may God forgive me.

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Sam and Karen have been such true loyal christian friends and we will always be forever grateful for their love and understanding. God is surely in their lives and we are so happy for them. I want to thank them for their prayers and love they have shown us. It is so nice to see Sam and Wayne being back where they can enjoy each others friendship.

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Wayne and Alma have been reunited after many years of separation. Alma has a heart bigger than anyone I have ever known. She truly loves deeply and forgives and loves unconditionally. Alma has always loved her big brother and she is such an inspiration to him now. No matter how long the separation nothing can destroy the true love of a brother and sister. Thank you Jesus for that.

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I have a son-in-law that has absolutely been wonderful to me and now he is the same with Wayne. He realizes the importance of family and does more than his share to try to keep all the strings connected. He has a desire to please God and to serve Him. He loves my daughter with a great intense love. He has been a wonderful husband and father and I love and respect him so.

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I have a daughter in law that is so sweet and loves my son with all her heart. Together they have struggled through some things that the devil has tried to throw at them but both Kim and Jason realize where the arrows are coming from and together they call on the Lord to sustain them and deliver them. They understand the power of the blood of Jesus and His name!

-Well, this has certainly gotten out of hand this morning. I truly am writing my heart into this computer. I am so proud of all my immediate family and friends for loving Wayne even though they have only known him for a short while. And thank them for loving me for all the years they have known me. I am sure each one of them has played a part in keeping me close to God and reminding me how very very blessed I am. And if any of you have read this to the end, I hope that some small something will remind you to tell someone how special they are and to try to remember no more the things God has already forgiven them for after they asked Him for forgiveness.