THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS

I thank my God for the gift of salvation and forgiveness

and mercy and grace. I have been thinking a lot about

forgiveness today. I have been reminded of how

important it is to be able to ask forgiveness and

to give it. I remember when I got my divorce

10 years ago and it was a pretty hard thing to

deal with.

Anyone that has gone through the same thing I am sure would agree with me. I never believed that divorce was ok and I knew that God would never approve, no matter what the reasons were for getting one.

Well, I did not file for one, but the other party did and I just did not contest it. A cowardly way of getting out of it and being able to say "well I did not file for a divorce". I had not been happily married for a very long time and neither had he. There were other parties involved on his side and I just did not know how to deal with it.

I was ready to be set free but did not know how to get free.Then when he did file, I was hurt. Dont really know why, because I wanted the divorce also, just too chicken to do it myself. I think I felt like such a failure. I was afraid I had disappointed my children and had set a very bad example for marriage. But actually my children were ok with it. They saw me become a new person. There were no more arguements, large or small.

I am not going to get into any of the details because there reallyarent important now. He went his way, left me absolutely nothing, promised me nothing. I felt sure he would come around and offer to help me financially but that day never came. I never asked for any help and never got any from him.

I was very bitter and angry for a long time because he did not offerto help me out financially. At some point I heard one of those tv preachers talking about forgiveness. I knew I was hurting myself more than anyone by hanging onto the hurt and anger.

This preacher said.......you have got to forgive before Jesus can forgive you. I knew that.......but I couldnt do it. I would try but the next day I would be furious again. He suggested that I just start speaking the words....."I forgive him".......for everything.

I am sure I had been a part of this marriage not working, so I actually had to admit that and then forgive myself.

I started speaking those words...."I forgive him" "I forgive him". Over and over not feeling anything. But eventually I realized that I was truly feeling the forgiveness in my heart. I could go a whole day not thinking about it and feeling sorry for myself. Then I woke up at some point and knew I had truly forgiven him. Wished him no harm at all. True forgiveness had come and I had been set free finally. I could not move on until I had truly forgiven him.

In Luke 7:44,45,46,47 Jesus talks about forgiveness.

I know I am a sinner, I strive to trust in Jesus and please

Him, but I know I am as filthy rags and need forgiveness

everyday for something. I thank God for showing me how

to totally forgive others as well as myself. There is nothing

our Lord and Saviour will not forgive us for except

to blasphem the Holy Spirit. That I would never do. The Holy Spirit walks with me and in me. I know my Lord loves me and

has forgiven me of all my sins. I pray that if I have

hurt any of you that you will forgive me. I have no

anger or unforgiveness in my heart for anyone. Some things happen and cannot be undone. That is where forgiveness comes in.

There is someone on my heart tonight and I am truly praying that forgiveness will come. To hold onto anger and unforgiveness

really hurts the one holding onto it more than anyone else.

I thank my God for His Son and His mercy and grace every day.