Mercies Are New Every Morning

The whole purpose of writing this blog was to help me remember all those years that have been buried so deep within that I cannot pull them up. Today it seems that God is trying to tell me, LaJuanah, let go and let ME. We just cannot hang on to the past no matter how hard we try. I do know that for so long it was so hurtful to remember that I literally shut out most of all those years before Susanne died.

It can be a very rewarding moment to drive back into your past and see a house that you once lived in or your parents or grandparents shared with each other. Playing in the front yard, climbing trees or playing hide and seek. Maybe a sad moment if someone you loved died in that house or moved away suddenly. Nothing stays the same or lasts forever. Just as we change the landscapes change, trees grow taller, or they or cut down, subdivisions pop up, commercial buildings replace homely little houses that were once filled with love and laughter.

God's Word tells me that "His mercies are new every morning, Great is HIS faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:23)" JESUS is the only thing in a life time that matters really. Everything else will come and go, we will have a few options and make a few decisions, things we choose to do or not do ourselves. As for anyone else we cannot make a crooked path straight, heal the sick, deliver those that are bound up in earthly matters or worse.

I once had a house in a little Mississippi town that I thought I loved. It was the only house I had ever lived in for any length of time. My children spent more time in that house than any other we ever lived in. I was afraid to leave there, it was the most stable thing I had ever known. I had some land with it and really thought that was very important, to own a house and land. After Susanne died I made a shrine of all her belongings. I wanted everything to stay the same, I wanted to keep her things out so everyone would remember her.

Well, apparently God got jealous of all my attention going to a precious child that was with HIM. I was wanting to pull her back and HE had her safe in HIS arms. I did not know how to trust HIM with such pain. I could not think of ever leaving that house. Well, after about 5 years whether God caused it or allowed it does not matter, it happened. That house burned to the ground with all her precious things in it. I was numb for a long time.

Now I realize God rescued me and my children from a life of bondage. He set us free so that we could once again look up and let HIM direct our steps. He pulled me up out of the mud and slime of defeat and once again put me on HIS ground.

My point in saying all of this is hopefully if there are any of you out there that is hanging onto a place or item and putting all your thoughts and ideas and dreams into a "thing" "a place" God will probably allow you to hang onto it for a long time. But if you belong to HIM, He will pull you back to HIM, He will not allow you to be destroyed by earthly desires and lusts and greed.

His mercies are new every morning, we just have to look for them everyday. A lot of things will fail us in this lifetime but God's Word will never fail. It will endure forever. I will probably continue to blog because sometimes I just get so full that I need to empty out the file cabinet so to speak. But I don't think I will put so much emphasis on trying to remember my past. God may be doing me a blessing by not letting me remember. It might bring sadness or anger or anything else that would not be good for me or my children. Who knows...........only GOD.

I know Susanne is with my Lord and Saviour and I look forward to seeing her again, along with my mother and sister. But until that day I am going to try to put my faith once again in my Lord and open my eyes each morning with anticipation............anxiously awaiting to see what God has planned for me today. I do know it will not be sitting and looking back...............Thank you Jesus.....................................